I stood there dumbfounded, unable to think on my feet and with nowhere to sit. My eyes wandered, looking for a solution. Finally, I heard her voice, calling the students back to the carpet, same as I had been doing, and proposing to sing a song, which I avoided doing. That early childhood educator helped me through that first period back.
Stepping into a new role felt different today. It wasn’t uncomfortable or filled with the unexpected, but it was different in a new way. Each school has its own rhythm, or vibe, established over years. The veteran teachers maintain the consistency and the newbies disrupt it, intentionally or otherwise.
Riding my bike to a new school was different. It was fine. In fact, I quite enjoyed the bike ride to and from school.
The whole day felt different in a new way. Thinking back on it, I can’t find an explanation as to why. Maybe that’s what’s new about today, that I’m left without a clear description of it. Maybe it was waking up early. God, it was early.
I do fear that the second day will be worse than the first. The excitement will have faded some, for me and the students. I’m already worrying about my program and what I’m going to need to do to be successful. The students will get to know me better, eventually coming to understand what they can get away with, and they’ll continue testing those boundaries. I’ll tire of the work or feel overwhelmed, backing off to help me cope.
There’s a rhythm to it. Every school year has one. It’d be great if I can find my feet, and think while standing on them.
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